My Perimenopausal Script

June 18, 9:15 AM:

Another day I canceled my morning yoga fitness class because some part of me still does not want to be around other people. As good as the hot yoga makes me feel, it’s bringing myself outside and putting myself inside this closed space with others— just don’t want to. And plus, my daughter canceled on me late last night, so I woke up lacking motivation. We do plan on going for our 10,000 steps + more journey today. A part of me is not looking forward to that either.

So you must be wondering, did I cave in overnight binge eating? No, I did not! Partly because there was nothing to binge eat on that was easy to snack on, and so therefore I was safe-not in thought though. Not in the mind. And that should tell me something about the relentless nature of parasites-parasites in the body taking over the brain. My mind paints such vivid pictures, but it’s the flesh fighting the battle.

I am not hungry, and yet I am thinking about eating-parasitic invasion! On the softer side of life, I do write with hiccups, and I lost 2 lbs.

Last night before bed, I put on a weight loss subliminal. I must have fallen asleep at some point, woke up, and everything was pitch black all around, and the music went suspenseful. I shut that shit off. Why am I being startled while I sleep? I already speak to ghosts, so why in the world would I need any more invitations to creepy stuff? Current song for my soundtrack:

Coolio-Gangsta’s Paradise

I don’t know, but that’s the song I hear right now, and so I share it!!